That number may be inaccurate, don't quote me on that. Anyhow, this is supposed to be a woman who had an abortion. Not for the reason of unplanned teenage pregnancy, but rather because there is a high chance it would have a disability.
Or other option, as suggested by a friend; because she has AIDS. and yeeah... What do you think?
Mothers have a very special task. Tales of the lengths they will go to in order to protect their children are heartwarming, inspiring, and almost legendary. Veritable proof of human goodness in a world that is all too often cruel and uncaring. A mother's love is revered.
And it is that which makes what I have done the most ultimate of betrayals, the worst of crimes and most decadent violations of this sacred duty.
Shame is not an adequate emotion. I sacrificed the life of my child for my own... what? Peace of mind? That could not be further from the truth.
Because I thought I was not up to the task, that I was not capable of the love and degree of caring necessary?
I feel sick sick sick. The death of my baby demands justice. Take me to court, try me, condemn the perpetrator of this unspeakable crime. What human could be so heartless?
Is it because I thought I lacked stamina, resilience? Because I managed to deceive myself, to somehow be convinced that it was the best course of action? For both of us? That no life for my child was better than a life filled with struggles?
Millions, millions of people face the same thing, and even more debilitating problems, every day and emerge successful and happy, victorious over this disease.
Why couldn't my child have done the same?
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
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