Friday, April 24, 2009

For nothing breeds panic like loneliness.

Terrified of being alone, stranded in a pool of merciless light, surrounded by the darkness. Even now the shadows stretch closer, dancing on the edges of this unprotected space. Too fearful to move, trying to pretend, as children while parents fight, as soldiers while bombs fall, breathing "it's okay" though I know it's a lie. Whispering it in my head, trying to drown out the noise - or is it the silence? - of being so alone. Creeping closer, tendrils caressing. Not long now.
It's the agony of waiting. Knowing already the inevitable end.
Fit to burst, the panic tightens the chest, rising, rising.
Ever rising. When will it begin? can'ttakeitcan'ttakeit
the shuddering, violent gasp, the shock of a harsh night air suddenly in the lungs,
skin so tight, pulled taut by expanding ribs,
pressure moving outward, upward; threatening to snap
bones like twigs, Crack. Crack.
Heart beating? no,
rather a pulsing of the blood, from temple to fingertip, fingertip to toe.
Frozen, conscious,
Pressure rising...

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